"'Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house upon the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.' - Matthew 7:24-27
I have never posted a blog before, but God kept me up late tonight for some reason. I haven't studied my bible in a long time. I mean, a really long time. Many of you know what college has been like for me so far, some of you don't. This will give you some idea of how it's been and the revelation I have come to. I wrote this in a notebook a few minutes ago and decided to blog it for some reason.
What this passage means for my life speaks for my faith. To date my faith has been, at best, inconsistent. This relates to my life in that, when I study the word and practice its teachings, I can resist temptation. My faith is like the house built on the rock, and I do not falter. When I go periods without study, even refusing to think about God for fear of conviction, I fall to temptation even worse each time. When I go through periods where I shy away from the Father, it is because I have fallen to temptation and I feel unclean or unworthy. At least, that is how it begins. Then, I stay out of his word so long that I begin to stop caring. I stop listening to the Voice of Truth and begin to do things on my own. This is impossible. I end up at a breaking point where I have to decide whether to give up or turn back to the One who indeed never left me. What I have learned is this: I cannot live by my own will; I must have God in all his wisdom. I cannot shirk my studies or I will grow weak against the evil one. I must put to practice the teachings of Christ, so that I know better how to run to Him when temptation and the memories of failure haunt me. College has been a roller coaster. I have decided that I will not let the low points slow me to a halt any longer. I will take what lessons God teaches me through my trials to become stronger. I will rise out of the pit time and again. I cannot say that the decision I am making now will keep me consistent. I will fall again because I am human. But each time, I will do my best to fall less and less with the ultimate goal of not falling at all. Where we Christians must come through is in those hard times. We must rise up again, stronger each time; rather, more able to place our faith in the one who will not forsake us. Each of us have a purpose in this life. Each purpose is not the same. But, we all have a duty to witness and disciple. 'Repent for the kingdom of Heaven is near.' In the book of Matthew you hear John the Baptist, even Jesus himself, preaching this message. This is the message we must spread to the world. We cannot do this if we cannot trust God ourselves. Guard you heart. Practice the teachings of Christ and Glorify God in everything you do. That is our overall purpose in life. Store up your treasures in Heaven. Just believing is not enough. We must give up our lives to really gain them. We cannot be lukewarm. We must deliver the revival that this starving, sinful world needs."
It's funny to think back on how my life was when I wrote this. I wasn't doing too great, and like any 18 year old, I thought I had so much experience. I know I'm only 20 now, but a lot changes when you've reached the end of your second year of college. My hard times didn't stop after I wrote this. Yes, I did have a brief time of growth in my relationship with Christ, or rather a time of repair. It was all shattered again just a few months later, though. I got back into drinking and living the typical college experience. I asked myself, after reading this again, what has changed since then? I am very happy to say that God's grace is sufficient and things are drastically different in my life just a year and a half later. I am no longer living the typical college life. God really spoke to me through the Casting Crowns song Slow Fade in February. Since shortly before then, I have not been drinking. I have been tempted many times by that and other things, but I God has rushed in to offer me a way out. I won't say I haven't made mistakes, there have been plenty of those. I just know that who I am today is incomparable to who I was then. I have reliable accountability and an awesome, gorgeous, Godly girlfriend who I never want to fail. God has answered so many prayers in the last few months of my life. I know there is no going back for me. The change has come, many years later than it should have, but God does not fail us. If anyone who reads this is struggling with anything, any sin that has you chained and imprisoned, you can come to me. I'll tell you how the Father brought me back, and I have faith He will do the same for you. Just trust Him.
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