Lust

Well...today (actually yesterday, but not everyone's a night owl like me) I found out that I'm going to be leading a group of Junior High boys at a Disciple Now this weekend. I have never done this, so those of you who pray, be praying for me! I'm going to need it. Satan is telling me that I can't do this, that I am not good enough to be telling these boys to avoid a temptation that I struggle with daily. I need prayer as I seek out God and trust that He will give me the words to say. I pray that they will have the strength to make a promise to God that I could not make at their age. I couldn't deny my flesh. I've struggled with it for 8 years. Even when I accepted my ring at D-Now when I was 19, I could not inwardly mean what my mouth professed. I've made my own commitments to the Father in the past month, but this one has escaped me. However, I've always been the type that I cannot ask someone else to do what I would not. So, I am making my promise to God. I'm not ashamed to admit this and make it public. I hope that those of you who know me will keep me accountable in this and admonish me when I need it. God calls us to be accountable to each other and sharpen each other. This includes letting each other hear what we need to hear, when we need to hear it. The forgiveness and the reprimands. I will keep my ring on, now, as a reminder to me of my commitment - sadly, the commitment it was meant to be from the time I received it. As I hope my young brothers will do this weekend, I promise to devote myself to purity in Christ. I will take whatever measures to run from the temptation of lust. I have made this commitment because of the position God is placing me in this weekend, the bible study I have committed to, and the (very helpful and convicting) autobiography of Clay Crosse. Clay Crosse is a Christian music artist. You might recognize his greatest hit, I Surrender All. He was at the height of his career in the late '90s when it all came crashing down. God had used many people in his life to get his attention, but Clay could not deny his flesh either. Finally, God went to the extreme and took Clay's greatest asset away. In the middle of a concert tour Clay's voice was taken away. Though he can still sing today, he has nothing that resembles the commanding voice God had given him before. It is a reminder that you cannot sit on the fence as a Christian. You cannot lead a double life. Behind the scenes Clay had become addicted to pornography. It was beginning to affect his marriage. His is a story of redeeming and restoring grace that surpasses all imagination. It affects me so much because I also struggle with lust, and I use my voice daily to praise the God who suffered the cross so that I could be forgiven of my secret sin. I pray that He changes me as radically as He changed Clay Crosse, and that verses like Matthew 5:27-30 will be imprinted on my heart. I also ask you to pray for the boys I will be teaching this weekend. Pray that their hearts are opened to a relationship with God that surpasses their knowledge, and that they can make the same commitment that has taken me so long to grasp.