Another Prayer Request

I don't know how many people are still reading this now that summer is here and you probably have better things to do with your time. However, if anyone is reading this, please pray for my sister. For several months now she has had an increasing amount of swelling in her lymph nodes, among other serious symptoms. After seeing a specialist we found out Thursday that she has melanoma. We do not know how serious it is at this point. The doctors cut a spot off of her scalp. The next step will be to biopsy the swollen lymph nodes. I do not know what comes after that, but this will determine what treatment or if it is even necessary. If the cancer has spread to an organ it become malignant melanoma for which there is no treatment. At this point the patient is in stage 4 of the cancer. The doctors put them in palative care (basically hospice...where they make you comfortable until the end). The life expectancy at this point is 6 months. Please be praying for my sister, who is only 26. She told me she is glad to know what the condition is, but she is scared the cancer may have already spread too far. We will not know until the biopsies. Regardless of what doctors say we know God is in control and that He can save her at any point. This doesn't have to be a death sentence. I will trust God no matter what the outcome, but please pray for healing in her body. Pray for peace, that fear doesn't grip her too much. Thanks to everyone who prays or is already praying for my sister. You will never know how much it is appreciated.

The Fool's Prayer -- by Edward R. Sill

The royal feast was done; the King

Sought some new sport to banish care,

And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool,

Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!"

The jester doffed his cap and bells,

And stood the mocking court before;

They could not see the bitter smile

Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee

Upon the monarch's silken stool;

His pleading voice arose: "O Lord,

Be merciful to me, a fool!

"No pity, Lord, could change the heart

From red with wrong to white as wool;

The rod must heal the sin: but, Lord,

Be merciful to me, a fool!

"Tis not by guilt the onward sweep

Of truth and right, O Lord, we stay;

'Tis by our follies that so long

We hold the earth from heaven away.

"These clumsy feet, still in the mire,

Go crushing blossoms without end;

These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust

Among the heart-strings of a friend.

"The ill-timed truth we might have kept--

Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung?

The word we had not sense to say--

Who knows how grandly it had rung?

"Our faults no tenderness should ask,

The chastening stripes must cleanse them all;

But for our blunders--oh, in shame

Before the eyes of heaven we fall.

"Earth bears no balsam for mistakes;

Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool

That did his will; but Thou, O Lord,

Be merciful to me, a fool!"

The room was hushed; in silence rose

The King, and sought his gardens cool,

And walked apart, and murmured low,

"Be merciful to me, a fool!"

I'm hoping someone will ask questions or comment on this. There's much to take from this. I hope you like it, and that God speaks to you through it like He did to me.

The Holy Spirit

In my Sunday school class the past few weeks we have been discussing the first chapter in the book of Acts. Jesus has been crucified, and the disciples are hiding in a house together when He appears to them through a locked door. Over the next 4o days He appears to them periodically to give them instruction and keep their spirits up for the days ahead. What is important in this passage is that Peter and the rest of the disciples are about to receive the power through which they will establish the Christian church. Here is the passage:

"In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen. After his suffering, he showed himself to these men and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God. On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: 'Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' So when they met together, they asked him, 'Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?' He said to them: 'It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.' After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. 'Men of Galilee,' they said, 'why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way yhou have seen him go into heaven.'" (Acts 1:1-11)

I will be speaking more on this passage, so I will post links to it. I want you to tell me your thoughts on this passage before I say more. Have a blessed day!

Jesus Warns Against Wrong Teaching

Continuing in Matthew 16 Jesus warns His disciples to "beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees." The disciples thought He was speaking about the fact that they had brought no bread with them. They misunderstood His meaning.

Jesus said to them, "O you of little faith, why do you reason among yourselves because you have brought no bread? Do you not yet understand, or remember the five loaves of the five thousand and how many baskets you took up? Nor the seven loaves of the four thousand and how many large baskets you took up? How is it you do not understand that I did not speak to you concerning bread?--but to beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees." (Matt. 16:8-11)

Here's what my bible study says about it: "Leaven (yeast) is put into bread to make it rise, and it takes only a little to affect a whole batch of dough. Jesus used leaven as an example of how a small amount of evil can affect a large group of people. The wrong teachings of the Pharisees and Sadducees were leading many people astray. Beware of the tendency to say, 'How can this little wrong possible affect anyone?'".

This made me think of my walk. Am I living in a way that shines for Christ, or do I committ small evils that completely destroy my witness to those around me who need to see what Christianity is truly about? I pray that God helps to keep me in check in moments like this. In all situations, really. I pray that I don't even have to think twice, that I will live more and more like Christ daily so that people will be drawn to Him through me.

Signs

I want to begin this with the admission that I am as guilty as anyone. I have asked God multiple times to reveal Himself to me with a sign. How ridiculous of me. I might as well be slapping Him in the face. Matthew 16 starts out with the Pharisees and Sadducees testing Jesus and asking Him to "show them a sign from heaven." Here is what Jesus responded:

"When it is evening you say, 'It will be fair weather, for the sky is red'; and in the morning, 'It will be foul weather today, for the sky is red and threatening.' Hypocrites! You know how to discern the face of the sky, but you cannot discern the signs of the times. A wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign, and no sign shall be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah." (Matthew 16:2-4)

Basically, what Jesus is saying here is that He is not going to waste His time showing these people a sign because they were only testing Him out of skepticism. They would not believe even if He did, because they could not see the truth in what He had already done. He speaks of Jonah who was carried in the belly of a big fish for 3 days. In this Jesus was hinting at His upcoming death and resurrection after 3 days. When I read this, I was very convicted. To this day I expect God to give me a sign to point me in the right direction. It's not wrong to long to know God's will for your life, but to ask Him for a sign is selfish and unnecessary. What we must do is have faith and believe that He has done the things that are talked about in His Word. He has showed us more than 2,000 years worth of signs. Is that not enough? Jesus says, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29) If God gave you a "sign in the heavens" every time he wanted you to make a certain move, would you be walking by faith? I think we need to step out for His glory and He will give us direction along the way.

"Seeing Is Believing"

Funny thing...I went home from College Station a few weekends ago and stayed up late to do laundry. While I was waiting I decided to watch a little TV. Being the nerd that I am, when I see anything about space, I'm there. So, as I'm watching 'Supermassive Blackholes', I hear the narrator say that while a supermassive blackhole has never been seen, the evidence for their existence is undeniable. Hmmm! I wondered to myself for a short while. Something sounded really funny about that. These big-name 'scientists' are declaring that they believe in something that they cannot see. If that's the case, then why is it that they don't believe in God? Granted, this is a generalization. Some scientists are Christians. But, the ones who are trying to prove evolution and how the universe was created only believe in science. I'm sorry, that's a croc to begin with, because half of all science is theoretical equation anyway. I mean, go ahead, explain away how said galaxy was formed umpteen-billion years ago. But explain life. You can say we all formed from the same little atom or whatever. But, how do you explain personality and conscience? Our universe is not just matter. It is also life, death, good, and evil. Where do these factor in to their equations? My point is, if they can believe in black holes when they can't see them, why is it so hard for them to believe in God when the evidence of His existence truly is UNDENIABLE?

Any Progress?

On November 16, 2006 I wrote my first blog ever on my Myspace profile. I went back to it today as I was "rediscovering" that I even had a Myspace. Here it is:

"'Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house upon the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.' - Matthew 7:24-27

I have never posted a blog before, but God kept me up late tonight for some reason. I haven't studied my bible in a long time. I mean, a really long time. Many of you know what college has been like for me so far, some of you don't. This will give you some idea of how it's been and the revelation I have come to. I wrote this in a notebook a few minutes ago and decided to blog it for some reason.

What this passage means for my life speaks for my faith. To date my faith has been, at best, inconsistent. This relates to my life in that, when I study the word and practice its teachings, I can resist temptation. My faith is like the house built on the rock, and I do not falter. When I go periods without study, even refusing to think about God for fear of conviction, I fall to temptation even worse each time. When I go through periods where I shy away from the Father, it is because I have fallen to temptation and I feel unclean or unworthy. At least, that is how it begins. Then, I stay out of his word so long that I begin to stop caring. I stop listening to the Voice of Truth and begin to do things on my own. This is impossible. I end up at a breaking point where I have to decide whether to give up or turn back to the One who indeed never left me. What I have learned is this: I cannot live by my own will; I must have God in all his wisdom. I cannot shirk my studies or I will grow weak against the evil one. I must put to practice the teachings of Christ, so that I know better how to run to Him when temptation and the memories of failure haunt me. College has been a roller coaster. I have decided that I will not let the low points slow me to a halt any longer. I will take what lessons God teaches me through my trials to become stronger. I will rise out of the pit time and again. I cannot say that the decision I am making now will keep me consistent. I will fall again because I am human. But each time, I will do my best to fall less and less with the ultimate goal of not falling at all. Where we Christians must come through is in those hard times. We must rise up again, stronger each time; rather, more able to place our faith in the one who will not forsake us. Each of us have a purpose in this life. Each purpose is not the same. But, we all have a duty to witness and disciple. 'Repent for the kingdom of Heaven is near.' In the book of Matthew you hear John the Baptist, even Jesus himself, preaching this message. This is the message we must spread to the world. We cannot do this if we cannot trust God ourselves. Guard you heart. Practice the teachings of Christ and Glorify God in everything you do. That is our overall purpose in life. Store up your treasures in Heaven. Just believing is not enough. We must give up our lives to really gain them. We cannot be lukewarm. We must deliver the revival that this starving, sinful world needs."

It's funny to think back on how my life was when I wrote this. I wasn't doing too great, and like any 18 year old, I thought I had so much experience. I know I'm only 20 now, but a lot changes when you've reached the end of your second year of college. My hard times didn't stop after I wrote this. Yes, I did have a brief time of growth in my relationship with Christ, or rather a time of repair. It was all shattered again just a few months later, though. I got back into drinking and living the typical college experience. I asked myself, after reading this again, what has changed since then? I am very happy to say that God's grace is sufficient and things are drastically different in my life just a year and a half later. I am no longer living the typical college life. God really spoke to me through the Casting Crowns song Slow Fade in February. Since shortly before then, I have not been drinking. I have been tempted many times by that and other things, but I God has rushed in to offer me a way out. I won't say I haven't made mistakes, there have been plenty of those. I just know that who I am today is incomparable to who I was then. I have reliable accountability and an awesome, gorgeous, Godly girlfriend who I never want to fail. God has answered so many prayers in the last few months of my life. I know there is no going back for me. The change has come, many years later than it should have, but God does not fail us. If anyone who reads this is struggling with anything, any sin that has you chained and imprisoned, you can come to me. I'll tell you how the Father brought me back, and I have faith He will do the same for you. Just trust Him.